CH 1 – “Mornin’” – The Deadbeat Master and Genius Disciple’s Misunderstood Workshop

Translator’s note: The author is incapable of writing a normal sentence everything has to be explained with the detail of Shakespeare on LCD laced Cocaine.

When a fish that is lazily swimming in the ocean depths suddenly meets a sea monster. I wonder what is the fish thinking.

When a squirrel bewitched by the smell of the tree’s fruit climb’s down and while stuffing its cheeks sees the gleaming eyes of a predator hiding in a dark bush. I wonder what is the squirrel thinking.

I, known as Granite Range, declare that I can clearly imagine the mental state of those cute, weak animals.

Among the thousands of case files between Shar and I, after the incident an elixir that came from a reckless remark, the studio where Shar and I lived transformed from a single house into became a mansion….why did this happen?

It’s noon at a certain mansion that was recently remodeled.

Going from a worn-out futon that I spread out on a wooden board, I now sleep in heavenly comfort in an expensive bed made from the feathers of a bird of paradise.
In addition, as I was sleeping in comfortably past noon I felt the presence of that and my body started to shake.

As I quickly regained conscience I tried to search the room with my amateur senses.


There is someone here. Even an amateur like me can feel their stare.
Even though I know if I open my eyes that person will be there, they have erased any presence and are watching me completely silent.

A nihilistic smile welled in my heart.

This person has yet again improved their skills….Hmph as to be expected of my disci…….

………Like hell!!!

I did say to leave me be when I sleep, but I didn’t mean this!
This is just plain scary! God dammit!

Having the problem child reminding me of her excellence first thing in the morning, I warily opened my eyes slowly.
Then just as I thought, I made eye contact with Shar who was loitering near my pillow and staring at me with her green eyes.





As I opened my eyes, she had a cheerful smile covering her whole face.
But, she was mumbling like a new born chick waiting for me to greet her.

……Yeah. I know. I understand.
I know Shar is not trying to scare me or anything like that.

She is just waiting for “her great master that she loves so much” to say good morning to her, right?

Of course, I understand what she’s thinking.
But, can’t she stop standing at my bedside like that! It just freaks me out.

As I thought of this, my favorite book (Maintaining dignity: so easy even a goblin can do it! {First Edition}) states, (Even if you take an arrow to your knee, you can’t let any feelings of surprise shown your face! In your goblin life it will lead you to a better tomorrow.)
That is why I must respond as usual.


[….Good Morning. Today Shar is ….. as usual Shar.]

[Good Morning! Master!]


Shar energetically says good morning, as her small frame is over flowing with affection towards me.

In this small dimly lighted room, the spot where that girl stands is bathed in a heavenly light
While being immature the girl with bright orange hair that tells you she will be a beauty when she gets older, shows her happiness for being able to exchange her first words with her “Great” master this morning (afternoon) as well.

That girl, who if introduced to 100 different people would be called charming by all of them, stares at me, I immediately began to feel tired as I restricted my facial muscles. I made the face of the “Respected Master” that I’m so used to now.




After putting on a simple outfit, I came down to the wide dining room, the lunch I am to eat with Shar was already prepared.

As I sat in my chair with nothing special on my mind, Shar told the two servants standing in the corner of the room to leave (For some reason we only have men working here?). She started to hum to her herself as she began to prepare tea and snacks, I wonder what she is so happy about?

As Shar once again sat next to me, I stared at her nonchalantly, then she looked at me while tilting her head.

[Master, Did you make any progress on what you were speculating last night? What shall we do today? …..Ah, yes. It may be a bit early, but what would you like for dinner? Actually, today a large merchant caravan came. When I went to the castle this morning, the square in front of the castle was very lively, it seems the caravan has many special products in stock. I wish to feed Master something so delicious that it will send all of the exhaustion you feel day after day flying!]


Besides maintaining my outer appearance, after eating my fill I was daydreaming. So, I was sadly unable to keep up with the questions and large amount of information that was thrown at me.

A speculated merchant caravan with special products and a lot of activity sent the castle flying….? ….What the hell? I must be wrong.

Here I should just be honest and say,

(Sorry, I have no idea what you’re saying… To begin with my brain is not that good, so after eating it becomes even less so….)

If I say something like that, of course my dignity as her Master will drop like a bag of bricks.
As I thought of this, my brain started to finally catch up. So, I started to randomly utter some general words.

[Shalltear, calm yourself. It is said that time flows equally for all things, but in reality, this is not true. Whether it is a bug or a dragon they have their own time, even humans have their own time. Even among individuals the same can be said. We all have our own time we live in. That is why Shalltear…. …That is to say…your master…that’s right, I will need a bit more time and information to answer your question. (Special translation: Please slowly repeat yourself once again.)]

Ugh, I am definitely not thinking straight…
“In Short”? Even though I was the one talking, I have no idea what I said.

…….That’s right, after (That is why Shalltear) if I said (Don’t be impatient) wouldn’t what I wanted to say get through?

As I was worrying on how she would retort to what I said, I sat there with my heart beating quickly but nothing showing on my face. Shar showed an expression as if she had come to some sort of understanding, and then started some incomprehensible conversation.


[…One’s own time… I understand. That is just like the alchemic technique (Arbitrary Observation Method)! As a practitioner must arbitrarily observe the unstable changes of the reagents they put into the alchemy pot, to better adjust the final quality of the various broken down smelted reagents. It is an important technique… As individual living beings (experience time differently)…, we, as alchemists, must purposefully observe the (infinite number of alchemic techniques)… Yes, they are indeed similar!]


….Crap, What did she just say?
She at least seems to be my disciple, Shalltear.
I, who only ever did simple alchemy, have no knowledge of such a technique.

As I thought if this, I continued to maintain the face of the austere master while the corners of my lips slightly curled into smile.


[Y,Yes. You are right. That is what I wanted to say. Shalltear, it seems you have become quite clever. You make your master proud.]


For the time being let’s praise Shalltear.
…..Hm? However, that laugh right now seemed to be right on the money. I will practice later in front of a mirror, so I can recreate it.


[Hehe, Thank you so much! ….Th,Then. Um, what shall we do….? What would you like to eat for dinner?]


Shar asked with upturn eyes as she innocently blushed.

Oh, she was talking about dinner. That’s why she mentioned the merchant caravan. Thank god, so the castle wasn’t blown up.
As I think back she was definitely talking about something along those lines. I properly understood the conversation, good.

Since I was so relieved, I patted Shar’s head something I rarely do. As I was rubbing her head I responded to her question.


[Right… Once in a while, I would like to have that, “Braised Moa Pigeon (Wild Pigeon) Stew”. Since it isn’t a special or rare product, even though the merchant caravan has come, there is nothing we would need. I am always calmed by that flavor.]


Yes, that dry cheap chicken meat. Sometimes, you just want to eat something cheap.
I, being a peasant at heart, after eating nothing but expensive meals can’t seem to relax, you know.
In the past, I would often cook it in some alchemy glassware lying around and eat it.

I as I thought of this and strong feelings began to well up, Shar’s head, which was still underneath my hand, began to shake. When I started to wonder what was wrong, I saw tears welling up in the corner of her eyes.

Huh? What? She’s been crying a lot lately. Maybe a dish that doesn’t need anything from the merchant caravan was a bad choice?
As I thought this and was worried, it seems my guess was wrong.


[That is so….nostalgic, hehe. It reminds of the day you took me in… It is the first thing Master ever gave me…. I remember it even now. That was truly, truly…delicious. tehee.]


Oh. Really? I fed Shalltear Braised Moa Pigeon Stew 5 years ago when I took her in, huh.

I, myself, cannot remember a single thing, but seeing Shar being brought to tears by this. What is this? These feelings of guilt.

This is bad. If I don’t deal with these feelings quickly. I, who has a heart like a small pigeon, will get washed up in this guilt.

As I thought of this, I proposed something to Shar.


[That’s right. This is a good opportunity. There is no need to rush and buy Moa pigeon meat since it is always available at the market. Shar, how about reminiscing with me today. What, sometimes it’s important to look back on the past. I am sure it won’t be a waste of time.]


Then, please help me remember what happened then so I can find some peace of mind.
[Master… Hic. You’re…right. I understand. I am happy to have the time to slowly talk about the past with Master….*sniff*.]


A soft smile appeared on Shar’s face as she rubbed her head against my hand, that was still petting her as if she is fawning upon me.


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6 thoughts on “CH 1 – “Mornin’” – The Deadbeat Master and Genius Disciple’s Misunderstood Workshop

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  1. The funniest thing is that shar would probably treat him the same even if she knew the truth, in fact he’d probably get exactly what he wants…

    1. Not exactly, she would become even more Yandere and chain him in the basement, since he’s no longer her master and she can be more unrestrained.

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