CH 3 – “Slime” – The Deadbeat Master and Genius Disciple’s Misunderstood Workshop

(TL Note: Besides the name Shalltear I feel like the author is once again referencing Overlord with this chapter.)


In order to hide the dirty child with truly impressive green eyes, I had no choice, even though I was completely against it, but to share the black robe I was wearing. As I was enduring the cold, that felt like it had dropped to near zero now, I made my way to the street where my workshop is located.

Yeah, today is really cold.

I can’t believe people are actually enjoying a festival on a night like this, they must be off their rocker.

….It’s not like I’m saying this because I’m upset that I can’t join them.

On the street where my workshop is, there is probably another name that has been decided administratively. My street is also known as “Fool’s Street”, this name which can only been seen as harassment is what my street is called. Basically, it’s a place that is disorderly like some seedy downtown back alley.

Well, instead of disorderly I think chaotic would be a better fit.

There are normal homes and there is a long bar randomly placed along the street, there is an old woman who sells vegetables from her kitchen garden, and there is a store calling itself a weapon shop that only sells kitchen knives and nails. There is also an alchemist, who won’t move or take orders unless he’s out of money. Even though the rent being cheap is good, there are many people who would go out of business in other locations, that flock to this place

Even there is no need to say it, the last person was me.

Even though we all there it’s not like we are very close, besides the old lady gardener, everyone thinks they are better than everyone else.

Even the circular neighborhood notice, that is supposed to go around to everyone, has stopped at someone’s shop and hasn’t been seen for a couple of months. But, even the simple action of checking who has it is something no one here has the intention of doing.

And here I am relieved that I made my way back to this street.

As to why, well the people who live here won’t bat an eye at the small black figure walking next to me, this is without a doubt.

Actually, on the way here there were some drunk idiots who were dancing, as if a part of some evil summoning ritual. And those idiots didn’t pay me a single mind.

Instead, the black figure next to me was surprised and began to shake. Well, this child will get used to this street soon enough…

—-Finally, we reached the entrance of my workshop, after opening the door and looking inside, I slammed it shut after 5 seconds.

Ugh, Damn it. I forgot to clean up.

Skulls. Skulls. Skulls.

There were skulls strewn throughout the room, there were even skulls floating in my alchemy pot. Even I was disturbed by the scene inside.

A large pot, big enough to boil a dead body, just like what’s in a ritual area used by a necromancer performing some questionable magical ritual.

Before I left, I was hyping myself up way too much earlier.

Well, I should say that if I didn’t hype myself up earlier, I wouldn’t have been able to go to such a dangerous place like the slums at night.

And because of that, the very thought of cleaning up disappeared from my mind.

…Also I should add this just to be sure, the skulls are not real. By placing animal bones and stones in the alchemy pot and melting them, I performed a basic technique called image projection to create the skulls. These are not human bones.

Well now, what should I do.

Is it OK to go inside just like this?

After worrying for several seconds in front of the door, the cold began to seep into my flesh and bones and even thinking became troublesome. Whatever happens, happens.

If it’s this much, then I’ll just have the kid come in and the kid will understand after I explain, probably.

If I stay outside I don’t even want to open my mouth. God, it’s cold.

As the door opened with loud creak, I invited the dark figure inside. I then hurriedly made my way to the alchemy pot and poured some magic power in, I will use this instead of a fireplace to warm up the place.

As I finished this, I once again turned to the door and saw the child had slightly stuck their head out of the dark robe, the face there was emotionless as usual.

[…….] Granite

The child silently stared at me, then the skulls around the room, and then the alchemy pot producing heat. Soon enough, the child started to slowly make their way toward where I was standing.

Oh? This kid isn’t as freaked out as I thought they would be.

As to be expected from a child from the slums, they are mentally tough.

I guess I can skip my explanation, huh?

I immediately began to explain my plans to the child walking toward me.

[You will be taught alchemy by —-. …Ugh…this smell and filth…this is bad…] Granite

As I opened my mouth, my senses were attacked by the horrible filth and stench coming from this child that had permeated the room. I made a face without thinking.

Then I suddenly remembered, I looked down at my own hands which had touched the child’s hands earlier and they were black with dirt.

….It will be better if I wash my hands first.

After this I will need to feed this kid something.

If I take a good look, this kid is nothing but skin and bones. Well that is to be expected.

As I thought of this, I looked at the child who was looking up at me without batting an eye, I once again called out to the child that was being obedient although a bit creepy.

[First, let’s wash your body. Wait a bit.] Granite

Here in this alchemist workshop that is my home, when you need to clean something really dirty I have something special just for such an occasion.

—- That’s right. With a gelatinous body, a living organism that can adapt to any environment. Long story short, I’m talking about a slime.

Especially when you are dirty, using a slime is considered normal among alchemists.

No amount of soap will fully clean this child, and if you properly train a slime they will listen to a human’s commands.

So, after I came to this natural conclusion, I turned my back to the child who had slightly nodded and as I made my way to the slime jar; I decided to seriously go over the techniques dealing with slimes…

The relationship between slimes and alchemy is quite old.

Well actually slimes having such a weird nature is why alchemy gave birth to techniques that can change the appearance of objects. I don’t think this is me just exaggerating.

Slimes are a species that start from eating plants and animals and then go to ores and any inorganic substance, they truly can ingest anything. Slimes then take the plants they’ve ingested and following their own biological rules, physically and magically change to adapt to their environment, this power is what makes up their special characteristics

The first alchemist, using the slimes special characteristics, instead of using an alchemy pot used “slimes who had just split off from another slime” and by feeding them medical herbs created healing potions. This was where it all began.

When I was still in training, I really don’t remember ever seriously training though, I was immediately taught how to handle slimes.

It’s just the same as blacksmiths learning how to control a fire and magicians learning how to use catalysts.

Well, leaving the actual synthesizing to the slimes you know, seemed to match my nature. And honestly instead of doing synthesizing in an alchemy pot, it was better having the slimes do it.

Well with a low-level alchemist such as myself there is scant difference between a slime and myself, but this is something I will never say out loud.

Now of course even I have slime as a partner and its name is Pochi.

(TL Note: This is an average name for dogs in Japan kind of like rex or fido.)

Regarding the name, well let’s just say I wasn’t the one who named it and I’ll omit the rest.

As I arrived at the slime jar I put my hand out to squirming Pochi, and as my hands were cleaned Pochi crawled up my arm.

Pochi must have been happy I was paying attention to it, Pochi was jiggling and looked really cute.

Ah, let me just say this, it’s not like I have some special liking for this, for alchemists this is a natural feeling.

Then as Pochi was crawling up my arm, I made my way back to the dirty child and said this.

[Now, please use this. When you become clean you will feel good.] Granite

[……..Huh?] Shar

 

This child’s green eyes that up until now had been emotionless opened wide, and this is the first time the child spoke with a cracking voice.

[What, you can speak? There is no need to hold back. After having Pochi eat the dirt off you, the refreshed feeling you will experience is something you can’t get anywhere else. Come now.] Granite

As I said this, I pushed Pochi toward the child.

[Fue?!……ah…..!?!?! ] Shar

Pochi happily jumped to the feast in front of it (the dirty child’s body), then Pochi spread itself inside of the black rob that the child was still wearing.

Uh huh, I will be at ease, Pochi will have a good meal, and this slum child will be thoroughly cleaned.

This is what you would call a win-win, right?

As I thought this, I nodded to myself satisfied.

§

[N,No! Master, please don’t remember any more than that!! That was very, very embarrassing!!] Shar

 

With her hands clasped at her chest, Shar is appealing to me with a bright red face. And I being childish and wanting to get back at her, started to speak while laughing to myself.

[Why is there a need to act so embarrassed. Shalltear, when it comes to washing your body besides using soap using a slime is not weird in the slightest. At that time, all I did was try to clean the horrible filth that was on your body using the common sense that is known to alchemists. Shar, even now, don’t you have a slime named “Lucolu” that you go into the bath together, right?] Granite (TL Note: The name is from a hair salon chain in Japan.)

[Um, well. I’m sorry if it looks like I’m protesting, but! Now and back then are two different stories! It is true that now I don’t feel embarrassed or anything and I am used to it… but back then, you know, because I was surprised by everything! …N,Now that I think back to that time, that slime was master’s slime so…..] Shar

[Hahaha, I see I see. Your master was teasing you a bit. Let’s move on with our reminiscing.] Granite

[U, Uhn! Master, I understand. I won’t h,hate you but I am very mad!] Shar

I started to chuckle again as shar said this while pouting.


(From the Author) The fact that the whole setting of the slime was made only for the female alchemist, Shar, is a secret. (LoL, but seriously if Shar became dark then the whole story would become dark so there was no other way!!! The author is not at fault!).


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CH 2 – “An Encounter on a Winter’s Night ” – The Deadbeat Master and Genius Disciple’s Misunderstood Workshop

(Translator’s Note: This author and his weird way of writing will be the death of me.)


It happened 5 years ago, just as the first cold streak hit one winter’s night.

[Damn, the concept of work should just disappear from this world. Ah~~~ I don’t want to work~~~. Generally speaking, why is that you can’t get money if you don’t work. Isn’t that strange? There is something wrong with the world. A revolution is necessary. I won’t do it, but can someone do it for me, please?] Granite

This is how I spent my days grumbling away, at this time I was 27 years old and still an active alchemist. Here I am on the very outskirts of the capital, in a place commonly known as the slum district. I am creeping along like some sort of burglar.

–No, even if I say I look like a burglar from someone else’s perspective I probably look like some sort of “evil magician”, “black market dealer”, or “an alchemist that has used the taboo arts”.

A black cloak and hood completely covered my body, and in one hand I held an alchemy staff that was decorated with a skull…is what I wanted the rod I had to look like. Well the additions to that staff were difficult…. I remember it took almost three days.

As I was heading to a place that is far away from the main district of the capital, consequently the number of street lights gradually deceased. Even the stars were hidden behind thick clouds in the sky and the moon itself was hidden.
Now large snowflakes that showed no sign of sticking began to fall, a cold wind passed through the narrow street causing me to shake uncontrollably.
The only sound that could be heard, beside the wind, was the creaking of the gradually dirty worn-down roofs of the surrounding buildings. Even before I reached the slum district, where the lowest in the caste system lives in an area that has had development stopped, a depressing atmosphere surrounded the area.

As my surroundings gave off the feeling as if monsters had invaded, at that time I, who already couldn’t freely move due to the cold, found my body began to stiffen.

Alchemy Staff.
A handy self-protection tool used by alchemists, it can release the energy of a single action that has been put inside of it beforehand.
The output can be greatly affected but the creator’s skill and finances used. It is superior against magician in terms of invocation speed and is superior to melee fighters in terms of reach. I should have saved after abstaining from drinking for a month. It’s better to make a proper staff then just having some knockoff by my side, as I do now.

Without thinking I admitted to my own laziness in an instance, even such a simple action was out of the norm for me. This is the second time tonight this has happened, and I haven’t even reached the slum district yet.

[Still,…maybe I should come back another day… It’s cold…and creepy… It might be smart for me to strategically retreat from here…Right? No, I can’t. Knowing me, if I leave now I’ll never come back to a place like this. I must find a someone here who no one will miss, a person that will be my meal ticket… The deadbeat comfortable lifestyle of my dreams is within my grasp…!] Granite

Of course, after 5 years have passed and with everything that has happened until now, looking back my “good plan” seems more of a “shit plan”; yet my past self still clung to that plan. As I hurriedly moved forward into the dark streets I looked like a creepy army alchemist who mass produces homunculus.

(TL Note: Shou Tucker from full metal alchemist, creepy as hell. Never forget Nina and her big dog…)

—Also, I have to finish this tonight.

My past self muttered this.

Tonight, the guards in charge of patrolling the capitol will be stationed at more important areas this evening.
Tonight, is the festival celebrating the princess turning 10 years old. The fact that her body is weak is widely known through the town. Among the merchants that I often deal with as an alchemist, those parasite pieces of garbage secretly bet every year whether the princess will celebrate “another” birthday or not, what a tragic princess.

Every year on the princess’s birthday, the royal family takes a large amount of finances from the treasury and celebrates in a grandiose manner.

Of course, for the peasants, it doesn’t matter if the princess is awake or in a coma.
The populace of the capitol is doing nothing but enjoying the grand festival and drinking all night long.
So, the guards who defend the peace of the capitol will be patrolling the important areas of the capitol that are more likely to have incidents occur.

….In addition to that, the people who live in the slum district don’t even have the money to enjoy the festival, so all of this has nothing to do with them.
By the way, even though I might be a bit better off, even if it tried to play it cool and say, “I don’t carry spending money” is my motto; I’m still living day by day. I am in no place to talk about other people…

As I stared at my current surroundings with a sense of fear, I stiffened my body against the cold and such sad thoughts ran through my head as I continued forward.

—Then I finally set foot in the slum district.

If I were to sum up the slum district in a couple of words, it would be a garbage dump.
Compared to the previous district I was in when I was worrying about my safety, at least people still lived there so it was a much more luxurious place compared to the slums. This is what I thought.

As a rotten smell rose to my nose, I noticed the remains of excrement around the area.
Despite this there wasn’t any garbage to be found on the twisting roads that make up the slum district, and not even a single blade of grass could be found growing on the street. As I took one more look around, if you could ignore the stench and the contents of the gutters you would think this was a properly maintained area

I could sparsely see abandoned buildings even in this darkness. There were structures made of only pillars and walls that couldn’t be called abandoned buildings littered around area, like gravestones.
I’m sure the inside of these structures did not have what would normally be considered a room.
Because of this a crying voice carried by the wind could be heard, a voice that was filled with resentment and sadness.

—As the cowardly I arrived at this place, I finally realized just how foolish my thoughts had been and feelings of guilt washed over me. Also, I started to feel afraid as if I had stepped into some magical territory full of monsters.

Even though I am a plain mediocre alchemist, no matter what I am still an alchemist.

That means in short, based on the world’s hierarchy I fall into the lower stratum of the intellectual class.
Then as far as I know the country I was born in has a affluential good government compared to our surrounding countries.

There is war. And my country does fight often.
Our country’s army is powerful, and we rarely lose any conflicts.
Even though there is some government propaganda, I am aware of it. That’s why I didn’t think that there would be such a dark side to the country here in the very center of the country, the capital, and not somewhere in a faraway town.

The reason for my mediocrity is not just my personality, but my lack of imagination can also be noted as being at fault.

I just particularly don’t want to work. I don’t feel bothered thinking this way. And I think that’s that.
But even with that, I am not sure what I am trying to do now will pay out in the long run. This is what I started to think.

Setting several steps into the slum district, after uncharacteristically seriously thinking; I regrettably arrived at a conclusion.
This is a bad habit of mine. I am normally very selfish but when it comes down to the wire, I am a coward.
Ahh, I should have had a stiff drink before coming here, this is so lame.

[…I should head home.] Granite

I nodded to myself starting to head in the opposite way and go back home to my stuffy workshop.

—Then, I had a stroke of luck, is what I could say.

As I was about to abandon my nice idea and head home, I heard a small voice that was like a gospel to my ears.

It was a person, and most likely a child.

And a coughing sound could be heard.

It was close, down this alleyway that is 70 cenmeterus (centimeters) wide.

After hearing that sound, I quickly had a change of heart, and the conclusion I came to earlier was forgotten as I calmed down.

[Are you serious..? Is this the heavens telling me to go through with my nice idea? Well let’s not worry about logic and the small details. Yeah. Those are the worries of important nobles who are involved with the politics of this country. Haha, just a little more until my deadbeat dream lifestyle is within reach.]

As I was smiling while in high spirits, I hurriedly made my way through the streets….then I came to my senses.

Wait?… Kids for the slums are known for being greedy…. I’m not going to get beaten up and stripped of all my belongings, will I?
That is troubling. A refined alchemist such as my self is not suited for such violence.

Well in case of such an event I went to the trouble of preparing my bluff of an alchemy staff and black robe.

I massaged my hands that had gone numb from the cold before I entered the alley. Last night I had practiced how to make a scary face and I grumbled to myself as I read a magic tome of curses; I thought of some intimidating phrases and repeated them in my head.

Then after a while after I decided I was fully prepared, I made my way to the direction where the voice had come from, all while shaking on the inside.

Now will an ogre or a basilisk come out. Even though I was over-exaggerating as I thought this, I continued forward.

(TL Note: This is Japanese saying that originally goes, will a demon or a snake come out? It means you never know what will happen.)

After sluggishly going about 10+ meterus (meters) I found a young child shaking wearing in worn-out clothes that made a prisoner’s uniform look good and had wrapped themselves in a blanket that was as dirty as a cleaning rag.

Just then at that moment, the thick clouds had cleared, and the pair of white and blue moons showed up directly above the alleyway.

In that cold moonlight, as if from a scene in a play the alleyway was brightly lit up.
The child there heard my footsteps and raised their dirt covered face. There all I saw was a pair of desolate green eyes staring at me.

——Before I could even think how sad this child was, I shook in fear.

Those eyes were as deep as a bottomless pit.
Overcoming all of the fake bravado and bluffs I had prepared, there that child was truly disturbing.
A demon or evil ghost would surely retreat in front of this child.
I thought such idiotic ideas where nothing but an undeniable truth at that time.

I was so scared that I didn’t know what I was afraid of and as I was absorbed in these feelings the lines I had practiced in my head flowed from my mouth.

[—— To you, o’ young child that has been completely abandoned by this world. To you, o’ lost child who no one ones how many more nights more you will see. Take my hand. Offer me your body and become of use to me. —— If you do this, I shall offer you modest salvation.] Granite

And unexpectedly, I repeated the lines I took from an old demon contract. While illuminated in moonlight, I stretched out my hand while the child slightly widened their eyes.

The child showed no other emotions and just stared at me with a blank expression.
The child in front of my eyes slowly stood up and took my hand.

The child’s hand was cold due to the temperature outside.
But that hand that was still warmer then the outside temperature, belonged to just a child and not some sort of demon. As my past self finally acknowledged the person in front of me as just a child, I was relieved.

*

This was the moment that I, Granite Range, and the girl who still had no name, Shalltear Range, met.

—— It was at this time that while feeling relieved I, who is usually careless, forgot something important.

What expression did I have when I first confronted her?
On top of that, what lines did I use to persuade her?
Then finally, How did I look in her eyes at that moment?

—— Because of this, even though Shar never showed this in her expressions, I made her come to a great resolution.

 

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CH 2 – “Patricide” – Reincarnated as a Dark Elf ~The strongest magician conquers a parallel world~

Author’s Note: this story will be told in the 3rd person.

Translator’s Note: The author switched from 3rd person to 1st person so much I had a hard time translating this. So, for the sake of my sanity I will be switching between the two throughout this chapter.


I will punish my father.

That was a decision I swore to when I was a baby and now that I am a young child this has not changed.

By chance, if he had made up with my mother or had any sliver of goodness left in him, but after waiting 4 years my father did not reform.

No, in fact my father’s domestic violence worsened. With an increase in the amount he drank, the times when my once beautiful mother wasn’t covered in bruises became few and far between. This can no longer be left unattended. This is what I thought. This wasn’t just for my mother but also for myself. Being left in this kind of environment there is no way my future plans of conquest will come to fruition. I have to do something about the dangers surrounding me. Since my father would barely work, my mother left the house to work in his place. At these times, my father would be home drowning in liquor. He gathered his gambling friends and drank at home.

That alone necessitates a death sentence, yet among his gambling friends a pedophile seems to have snuck in, I have no other choice now.

That disgusting perverted bastard has set his eyes on Celica Desself, the young girl who is growing more beautiful day by day, in other words me.

He is looking at me in a lustful way. It is truly repulsive. And the thing that is even more repulsive is that my father is shouldering a large debt with that disgusting bastard.

I don’t even need to tell you the answer, do I? Basically, it is that.

One day, after confirming my mom was working that night and wasn’t home, that bastard came into Celica’s room.

[Honestly, what feeble minded inferior people] Cecilia

As this was thought, those men didn’t hear a thing. As to why, about this time those men were covered in flames. Celica brought down the hammer of justice on them by using her pervious life’s knowledge.

Yes, using the phenomenon called “backdraft” Celica blew away and burned to death the two men who had evil intentions.

[It went easier than I thought.] Cecilia

Celica plainly said this while looking up at the smoke that was leaking from the blown-out window.

The old ladies from the neighborhood said,

[It’s hard, I know. But it’s ok now, we called your mom who had gone to work.]

As they hugged me I wondered if they knew? They had no idea of the fact that the young girl in front of them mercilessly killed her father and his friend. Also, that the girl they were currently holding was coldly doing monetary calculations in her head.

[ Now, Dryad Insurance Company will payout 100 gold coins for the fire insurance. And the life insurance of my father, whose signature I forged, will have a payout of 100 gold coins. If 100 gold coins has the same value as 10 million yen (TL Note: around $100,000) from my previous life then it’s 20 million yen. Then my mother needs to also start earning 150 thousand yen (TL Note: around $15,000) a year.]

She whispered to herself. Now we need to look for a new house; how can I live comfortably? This is what the girl was thinking at that time.

Naturally with the parasite that was her father out of the picture and on top of that the recent windfall of 20 million yen, the mother and daughter’s life will no doubly become easier.

Now her mother won’t be hit. Even that alone was enough for her. The young girl who was making these devilish calculations was called out to by God.

[You are indeed a rare find that’s beyond my expectations.] God

Celica replied to that sarcasm thusly.

[By the way God, there is something I wish to ask you.] Celica

[What? Do you want to know if there is a hell in this world too?] God

[If there is then I will definitely wind up there. But, I didn’t want to ask about that.] Celica

[Then, what do you want to ask?] God

[I want to know if life insurance is exempt from taxes in this world. Depending on the answer my future plans will change.] Celica

As God heard this he replied without answering my question.

[I don’t know anything about that, all I know is that hell would indeed be lukewarm for you.] God

[Well thank you for that.] Celica

Celica said this while she smiled with a grin.

 

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