CH 5 – “Experimental Cooking” – The Deadbeat Master and Genius Disciple’s Misunderstood Workshop

(Author’s Note: Sneaking in with a late-night upload.)


[Hmm! Ah!] Child

As Pochi happily dug around inside the black cape the child, who isn’t used to this since it’s their first experience, is crying out. I turned my back to them and started to nod to myself.

Pochi is the best~.

Of course one might be surprised by the springy texture at first.

But I’m sure you’ll immediately feel good.

Since pochi is always eating the scraps of medicinal herbs his treatment is good for the body, I also taught Pochi techniques to relieve stiff shoulders, so it perfect to warm up a body stiffened by the cold.

Being a guy who normally sleeps all the time on a hard bed and doesn’t exercise, even though I’m 27 years old sometimes I find my body creaking.

At these times, Pochi is a slime that real comes in handy.

As I was grumbling like an old man, I held the basket with the washed glass containers and arrived in front of the raw materials cabinet. I tilted my head.

 

[Ahh….] Child

 

For the food it’s annoying so the Braised Moa Pigeon I made yesterday will do, it is just dry meat and garbage vegetables with no flavor.

If I am to feed it to that child there isn’t enough nutrients.

Anyway, what’s the point of going to the trouble of swiping this kid if it will just collapse on me.

After being skinny for so long and having no stamina, making this child do something is impossible. Still I want this kid to start supporting me as soon as possible.

If I consider a miniscule amount of materials and a slight amount of effort as a prior investment to my future, then it’s all good.

As I thought this, I randomly took some preprocessed medicinal herbs and leaf buds, and the fresh carrots that the old lady forced on to me yesterday and placed them in my cart. (I am deeply puzzled at how she harvested these in the middle of winter from a kitchen garden.)

Then I made my way to the storage cabinet where the extracted liquids are lined up and tilted my head.

 

[Haaa!] Child

 

Is there anything that has a decent flavor and is nutritious.

Oh, let’s go with this. This bottle with a fish head floating in the liquid.

It’s not meant for cooking and I have no idea about the taste, but it has to be better than the bottles with snakes, frogs, or lizards.

As I thought this I poured some of the fish extract into the glass container. After this I thought I would give the child a little service and headed to the cabinet with the magically sealed bottles.

Among these bottles there is a magically sealed bottle that contains low quality purple magic gel. This is used to make healing potions. Using a syringe, I placed some drops of the gel in the food. (TL Note: 魔粘体 is the magic gel and it translates into magic sticky stuff. So I just made this gel if anyone has a better word let me know in the comments.)

…Let me at least explain what I’m putting in the food. After the practitioner dissolves materials in the alchemy pot, due to certain “magical concepts”, the “material’s effects” that are observed can be extracted. The materials that have had their “effects” removed remain at the bottom of the alchemy pot maintaining their physical composition. Any effects that couldn’t be analyzed or any magic substance that wasn’t extracted is also left separated in the alchemy pot.

 

[Uhhhh….!] Child

 

This is the same thing that occurs in the stomach of a slime following their own natural rules, furthermore alchemists have a technique that can extract the “effect” in a transient form known as “magic gel”.

And what I just put in the glass container, while not having a high purity, is a magic gel with an effect called “restoration” that will speed up a person’s natural healing ability by using their own mana.

By the way, the magical concept I mentioned earlier differs greatly based on the practitioner’s ability, sense, and knowledge. So, what really affects this is the hard work and talent of the alchemist.

When it comes to me not only do I not have the talent. I don’t even have to drive to put in any effort. Since I cannot extract anything of high-quality, I can only make mediocre products.

Even with this, it’s not like everyone can replicate these techniques, so I do make some money.

This is a perk of having a technical job. (TL Note: As in being an Alchemist is a job that requires a specific skill set that everyone doesn’t know. So he will always make money no matter how crappy of a job he does.)

…As I ramble on like this, instead of cooking it’s starting to feel like I’m preparing to do some alchemy. Well, that is all there is.

 

[…Nya…!] Child

 

For the food, this about enough materials…ingredients that I’ll use.

All that’s left is to take the food I made yesterday from the cold storage underneath the floor in the corner of the kitchen. If I combine the food with the stuff I just made and heat it should be ok.

So I quickly took the food and threw in some seasoning, then I stirred the meat and plants in the glass container, and used a magic tool to heat it up.

As it started to look ready, I gave it a taste.

….

The fish extract is slightly fishy and is overpowering the other flavors…

 

[….Yeah. Well, let’s cover it up with some liquor.] Granite

As I thought this I threw in the little cider I had and cooked off the alcohol.

[…Uh. It’s kind of sweet now.] Granite

As long as it’s nutritious and you can eat it, then anything is ok.

As long as you can eat it it’s ok, as long as you can eat it.

It should be ok since children like sweet things.

 

[……*collapse*] Child

 

Just as I finished preparing the food, the playful sounds of Pochi and the child that were coming from behind me stopped.

That’s some good timing, nice job Pochi.

As I thought this, I held the two hot glass containers with a cloth and turned around.

――And there in front of me was.

S,Someone died….!?

Of course there is no way that’s true.

There was a skinny girl that wasn’t even 10 years old with orange hair lying limp on the floor.

As she held the black cape I gave her tightly she stuck out her face which was beet red and she was breathing heavily.

Then when she realized I was looking at her, the corners of the girl’s eyes started to have tears run in them and she looked this way.

Her hair is a bit damp and there doesn’t seem to be any residue on her face.

Well when Pochi is preying on…that’s wrong. When Pochi is eating I trained it to leave as little mucus as possible. By the way after Pochi ate it’s fill, pochi immediately returned to the jar. So smart.

――But nevertheless.

 

[Ah? You were a girl?] Granite

 

Well to be honest, I don’t care about the gender, so I don’t care but.

When it comes to strength, a boy that has a lot of stamina might have been better.

However, it’s not like a girl would have a problem worth mentioning.

Besides that, the young girl that is looking up at me with eyes fill of resentment.

“What, so she can make expressions besides that expressionless stare”

I felt somewhat relieved as I thought this.

……Well you know.

If she had truly lost all of her emotions, dealing with her would be beyond my means.

If things had turned out as such, who knows how long it would take for her to finally start supporting me. That would indeed be troubling.

As I stood there nodding to myself, I called out to the girl.

 

[How are you? Do you feel refreshed?] Granite

[……Yes.] Child

 

Thanks to the medical effect of Pochi’s secretions color returned to the girl’s cheeks. I suddenly laughed as I looked down at the little girl who responded with eyes filled with resentment.

However, I knew that I shouldn’t show myself slacking off since we are at the stage where we still can’t talk to each other properly. So I put on the dignified look I practiced.

[Ok, next is food. Now let’s eat at that table over there.] Granite

As I said this, I gestured to the table where there was a piece of black bread and a jug of water.

Then, the girl seemed to finally smell the soup I was holding in my hand.

 

[Um…] Child

 

As the girl went between looking at me and then the soup in my hands again and again. She let out a small voice while looking bewildered.

What? I’m sure she is hungry. I don’t understand this girl.

She should act like a brat from the slums and just start eating.

I’m the kind of person who is annoyed when someone is reserving themselves when I try to do something for them.

By the way, anyone who acts like it’s obvious for people to do stuff for them are also very annoying.

I can’t believe this. Who does she think she is? (TL Note: This dude needs to chill)

 

[What’s wrong? Hurry up before it gets cold.] Granite

 

I said this while rushing her as I made my way to the table first. I put the soup on the table and sat down. Then I poured some water on the rye bread and forcefully tore some off.

The child sat where she was and stared at me with a frozen expression. After a while she slowly stood up.

At first she slowly walked over but then broke into a short run. She didn’t seem used to sitting at a table as she climbed the high chair. Then she at the place in front of me. (TL Note: She is 10 years old now, so I imagine she is too small to sit in a chair normally without climbing into it.)

As the girl was slightly shaking she stared at the piping hot soup and the torn rye bread in front of her, I called out to her.

 

[If you don’t dip the rye bread in the soup, the bread is really hard. …Oh maybe you don’t know how to use the cutlery? You cut it like this.] Granite

 

In order to show her an example I took some of the meat with my fork and took a bite as I soaked the rye bread in the soup.

As the girl sat there silently watching me, she finally mimicked what I did and as she took a bite…

――Tears rolled down from her eyes, she had a calm expression as if she was a saint.

Tears rolled down her sunken cheeks.

Without wiping away the tears, all she did was eat her food, hands shaking, and with an expression as if she happy from the bottom of her heart.

I wanted to ask her several things while we ate, but after seeing her like this all I could do was stare while not saying a word.

So after some time past, the young girl finished the soup and cleaned her plate.

Whether it’s thanks to the “restorative” effects, the medicinal herbs, or the secretions of Pochi who diligently covered her skin.

Compared to how she was when I first met her she seems like a different person. The young girl who has the life returned back to her wipes her tears. Even though she was expressionless just a while ago now as I stared at her she had a smile.

In those clear green eyes that were looking at me I couldn’t sense any of the emptiness from before.

To be honest, how can such a young girl change so drastically is beyond me. I pondered this to myself.

Did I do something?

All I did was clean her up, and gave her some food I just threw together.

That’s all I did there is no reason for her to have a face that says “thank you for saving me.”.

Yeah, it’s ok since she seems easy to deal with.

Well, it’s ok.

I’m sure due to the slime massage and her stomach being full she is just acting strange.

It happens. It happens.

For example, if I am gambling while drinking and I use all my money when I’m on a roll. I feel awesome at that moment even though I know I will regret it later.

The fact that in exchange for this brief moment of happiness you will work for my sake is something you will come to regret.

As I thought of such horrible things, the girl has been quiet for a while. So I decided to put on a serious face and continue the conversation but right before this.

Before I could say anything the girl spoke.

 

[Um…] Child

 

Thanks to finally getting some food, the child’s voice finally started to sound high-pitched like someone her age.

Then the girl with a smile on her faced jumped off from the chair.

 

[What’s wrong? Do you need to use the restroom?] Granite

She grasped the cape and made her way toward me. And she looked at me as I called out to her.

[….Magician-sama. Since before, have you been, doing that, on purpose?] Child (TL Note: Ok so this is weird. The author doesn’t use kanji for when the girl is talking only hiragana {one of the phonetic alphabets}. So, I took this as her speaking in a weird way, so I will break up her sentences with commas to accurately represent this.)

[What? What do you mean since before? I have done nothing on purpose.] Granite

[Ha. No,… it’s nothing. Um… Magician-sama, I am ready.] Child

The girl gulped as she said this and made a soft yet weird smile.

I wanted to ask what did she mean by “I’m ready”. But she continued speaking right before I could open my mouth.

――The next words out of her mouth left me dumbfounded.

[Magician-sama. Thank you, so much for, everything. The food was, very, very, good. I am very happy, for all the, ways you have, saved me tonight. That’s why, now it’s my, turn to give something. Please… ] Child

[Use me, as a sacrifice!] Child

[…???] Granite

 

What the hell is this girl saying??

I became silent without thinking and I stared at the girl’s face looking for some sort of answer.

Sacrifice? As in sacrificing someone right. Where did she get that idea, that’s so scary…

Why would I do something that I would never be able to take back as long as I live.

Even thought my motto is “Be honest to my desires, but be that as it may avoid anything troublesome”.

As I wondered what this child was thinking, one of the skulls in my room came into my field of vision.

Skulls…

……

………

Ahhhhhhh!

No way, you’ve got to be kidding me. I am such an idiot.

Would someone normally make such a basic mistake?

Taking everything that’s happened into account, you can understand just how lacking my powers of imagination really are.

Hahahaha.

She must think I am some sort of dangerous magician or something.

Since I stood there silently while I frantically worked my normally unused brain, the little girl in front of me desperately tried to maintain her smile as tears welled up in her eyes.

As I realized this, I hurriedly opened my mouth.

 

[Uh, well you see――] Granite

[Am I, not able, to be of use, to magician-sama!] Child

[No, that’s not it――] Granite

[Please! If it’s for, the magician-sama, who took my hand, I will give everything I have! But the only thing, I have to give is myself! That’s why!] Child

[Doing something so dangerous is…] Granite

[I, I don’t want, my life to end while, I’m alone! Please.] Child

 

T,This kid… She keeps talking over meeee!!

She’s doing it on purpose, right?! I can’t explain myself like this!!

And what the hell do you mean by “wanting to become a sacrifice”, I have no idea what she’s trying to say.

Please speak using words and reasoning that I understand!!

Ha, my stomach has started to hurt… Please, just listen to what I am trying to say!

――After shaking off the shock I stood up and tried to hold down the young girl who must being going through some trip. (TL Note: The author actually uses the word トリップ as if he is implying she is tripping after getting high. I left it in even though it’s kind of weird.)

 

[I will become a sacrifice!] Child

 

As the little girl said this she threw the black cape to the ground.

Now she is butt-naked and running to the heated alchemy pot.

Whaaaaaat?!?!?

What are you saying?!?!?!?!

What the hell do you mean “I’ll become a sacrifice”!?!

The only person in the whole world who is unlucky enough to hear that is me.

This girl, everything she does is extreme. (TL Note: Granite probably means how she was super scary when he met her, then all of the crying with the food and now all the talk about sacrificing herself. I kind of agree…)

 

[Hey, wait. Calm down!!!] Granite

 

As I shouted this the little girl used the chair to jump over the table. I chased after the surprisingly fast girl but she had already arrived near the alchemy pot, there was no way I would reach her in time.

I felt time slow down.

Inside of this slowed down time, “Ah, this is how my life is going to end…” is what I thought as I was eerily. I laughed and sighed.

There is no way a coward like me could withstand being a criminal.

Goodbye, the carefree life of my dreams. Hello, the life of a criminal…

――With this I helplessly gave up on living but then.

The situation reached an unforeseen conclusion.

 

[Waah] Child

 

There was a skull lying near the alchemy pot.

Then the young girl who had volunteered to sacrifice herself stepped on the skull and fell over.

As I watched this happen I thought.

Life can drag you down to the bottom or save you with just the littlest things.

 

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