CH 4 – “Solitude” – The Deadbeat Master and Genius Disciple’s Misunderstood Workshop

(TL Note: I had some real problems with this chapter so sorry for being a bit late.)


The only people who understand the loneliness that comes from solitude are people who aren’t alone.

After 5 years, I have come to understand this.

Through hard times, sad times and happy…times.

I, who had no memory from before wondered why I was in this place called the slum district. All I did was live day to day as an empty shell.

There was one person who was with me.

I don’t know that person’s name.

She was an old woman who was very up in age, and as I think on it now she was looked like a ghostly apparition.

That’s how the old woman looked to me.

With a wrinkled face she was always cursing the world, and she was always staring at something no one could see while spitting insults. But when I brought her scraps of food she would have a warm smile on her face and she would tell me many stories.

The tales of the saint in service of God.

The tales of the hero who battled evil.

And then, the simple everyday tales of people living their lives.

To me, who was truly empty inside, I looked up to all of the characters in those stories equally.

But at the same time, they made me question many things.

——The saint who served God.

The person who in the end was betrayed by the people and was executed for a crime they didn’t commit. At the very end they were able to pray to god with a calm expression.

Why was the saint able to serve God to that extent?

Why was the saint able to think of others to such a fervent extent?

I could not understand this.

——The hero who battled evil.

The hero who fought the demon king, who can be said to be the origin of all calamity, lost many of that person’s comrades in the battle.

Taking up the thoughts of his comrades who were cut down, that hero splendidly won the fight.

Why did the hero and their comrades take part in such a dangerous battle?

Then even if the hero took up the feelings of their fallen comrades, how did the hero feel after winning a battle that took the their comrades dying to accomplish it?

I could not understand this.

—— And at last, the simple everyday tales of people living their lives.

People who spend their days laughing and arguing in a warm household, or gathering food while working together with their neighbors strengthening their bonds.

Exactly what is a warm household?

Exactly what is family?

Laughing and arguing, what kind of actions are these?

I could not understand this.

Of course, at that time I was unable to think and question my surroundings in such clear words.

Instead of questioning, my feelings of admiration were probably stronger.

But even then, there is no mistake that my past-self had accumulated many questions in my heart.

Since I didn’t understand anything, I flooded the old woman with questions.

Why? Why? Why? There were times when the old woman was able to answer my flood of questions, there were times when I became angry, there were times I even became violent.

——But at that time, my own “simple everyday life” certainly gave me something.

After 2 years of living in the slums, I clearly remember that time.

This happened in the summer around 6 months before the cold winter night I met my master.

It’s easy to survive in the summer.

At any rate, since its warm, grass grows well and there are a lot of bugs.

It rains often so it’s easy to get drinking water, and you can wash yourself.

Tee hee, well this is why the summer is comfortable.

The people who lived in the main streets bathed in sunlight always made a face and left whenever they met eyes with me. As I stretched out my hand to pick up food scraps the people would yell “Filthy, get out of here” and shoo me away.

Yet I didn’t resent them.

To me, who was empty inside and didn’t know anything, they were like the characters of the stories I loved. So of course, there would be incredibly cold to me.

Maybe I felt guilty for entering such a pretty place even if it’s in order to get food.

Even though I’m talking about myself, I was too ignorant at that time.

At that time, I should have lived with my head held high. After being taught every day by my master who is independent and allows no one to get in his way. This is what I thought.

Haha, I seem to have gone off track.

Well it can be helped. Even I have times where I want to talk about my past.

Anyway, during one summer that was supposed to be easy to survive, that incident happened.

As usual, I went and got food for myself and the old lady, as I was heading back to the dilapidated house without a roof that the old lady was always in. I discovered some black birds flying in the direction I was heading to.

——I had a bad feeling.

Underneath where those black birds fly, there is always someone who for any number of reasons has died.

The old man who only once gave me a piece of sweet fruit.

The one-handed boy who once in a while I passed by in the street.

The woman who whenever I saw her would constantly circle the base tall pillars.

All of them, where pecked at by those birds after they…..

As my past-self thought this, I looked up to the sky and closed my eyes then I opened them.

Then, I, who never tries to waste my stamina, started running and made my way to the dilapidated house.

——As I arrived I saw a squirming black mass.

Actually, everything past that I don’t really remember.

But I sure not much time passed, then for some reason the birds scattered and flew away. And fortunately, in front of me laid the surprisingly clean corpse of the old woman.

Yes, it was truly fortunate.

Because now I can put the clean old woman in a grave just like how it was in the stories.

As I felt relieved while thinking this. I felt an itch as something passed under my eyes then my cheek and finally reached my chin.

What is this?

Just as I thought this, I placed my hand on my face. It was water.

Was it raining? I honestly didn’t understand what this meant, so I looked up to the sky.

The weather was good. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky above the broken home.

As I tilted my head, this my throat began to shake.

[No…, No…]

Behind my weirdly calm conscience there was someone crying.

That is when I began to realize.

Oh, am I possibly crying? Is this what you call sadness?

When I realized this I finally started to honestly cry my eyes out.

That right. I started to think that maybe this is what the hero from the story felt.

——From then on, I truly became an empty shell.

Even though I was also as it may, and even if the old woman didn’t even recognize me as a person.

Even so I was with someone, and when that person was gone I learned of “loneliness”.

Even though I lost the will to live and yet did not have the courage to die, all I did was aimlessly passed the time until that cold winter night when I met my master.

§

[—— To you, o’ young child that has been completely abandoned by this world. To you, o’ lost child who no one ones how many more nights more you will see. Take my hand. Offer me your body and become of use to me. —— If you do this, I shall offer you modest salvation.] Granite

There stood a magician who wore a black cape and held a staff with a skull attached to it.

Honestly speaking, even appearing suddenly in front of me I didn’t think the person was scary… at all.

But the word’s that person said, shook my feeling after such a long time.

I was truly surprised at that person who put their hand to me who was filthy.

Even though it’s the first time we’ve met his words were like he could suddenly see through me.

Unlike the other people from outside the slums he held out his hand to me even though I’m dirty.

It was as if he was an evil magician that had come out of a story. But to me who has no connections in this world, “He sought and reached out his hand to someone like me.” this alone made me feel good.

It doesn’t matter what he does to me.

It doesn’t matter if I met some terrible end just like the characters in the stories.

It doesn’t matter if I’m killed.

――Even so, at that point it felt right to give him everything I could.

As I took his hand, the magician had a disturbing smile as he thought of something.

However, the magician was nice to me.

He adjusted the length of his black cape that was still warm and wrapped me in it.

He saw that I was walking barefoot, and he ripped his hood into two and wrapped my feet.

As we made our way to our destination he made sure to match his steps with mine and slowly walked with me.

Of course, this was just him being considerate so his important “material” won’t be damaged.
Since I still had a child’s mind this is the first time someone has shown me good will and not since losing the old women I felt my feelings coming back after such a long, long time.

(TL Note: Basically, Shar here thinks that she will be used in some weird experiment and that is why she talks about herself as a some sort of material.)

§

We passed some people who looked like they were doing something scary. We then finally reached the magician’s house.

He waved at me to come inside and,

“Ah. Of course, this is what will happen to me”

At that moment I gave up.

All over the room, there were bones that could be seen as coming from a child scattered about.

Inside of the large pot there were human bones floating.

The magician slowly lit a fire underneath that pot.

―― Yeah. From the slums to now I have indeed received enough “salvation”.

In that case, it’s now my turn to give.

As I thought this, I felt refreshed as I made my way to the magician who had turned toward me.
…. No, that was a lie.

Even though I was so scared my body could shake, running from here and I would lose my last connection to anyone then dying all alone was much scarier to me. That’s why I was able to move forward.

As I stood there the magician said finally said his last words to me.

[You will be taught alchemy by ――] Granite

What?

I will have you become a sacrifice, so I can become even greater! Or something like that….

As I was almost brought to tears from the fear I was feeling, I remembered the story of the saint and wanted to be dignified to the end, so I stiffened my face.

But what came next almost knocked me off of my feet.

[You will be taught alchemy by —-. …Ugh…this smell and filth…this is bad…] Granite

[………]

Well it’s because I was in a place where I couldn’t afford such luxuries.

Even though I went to the trouble of coming to terms with what was going to happen, I have to be honest and say that me at that time was somewhat annoyed.
This might be the first emotion I remember having.

If you’re going to sacrifice me then hurry about and do it! Even though I’m scared don’t insult me in such a weird way!

I started to have such idiotic thoughts.

From then on since I was too scared, and it was impossible to say this. [My feelings, let them reach the magician!!] as I thought this I stared at the magician’s eyes, he then started to speak.
[First let’s wash your body. Wait a bit.] Granite

I nodded with a stern expression.

As the magician turned his back to me and made his way to a pot in the corner of the room, he returned with something semi-transparent that was squirming and attached to his arm.

(……?)

I was confused by the disgusting object I’ve seen for the first time. The magician said this.

[Now, please use this. When you become clean you will feel good.] Granite

[……..Huh?]

Use what? That thing? Huh? How?

He said wash? What?

As I opened my eyes wide and started to panic, as the magician pushed the horrifying object toward me as he grinned and said.

[What, you can speak? There is no need to hold back. After having Pochi eat the dirt off of you, the refreshed feeling you will experience is something you can’t get anywhere else. Come now.] Granite

Noooooo!

Even as my heart screamed out my body would no longer move as I wished.

[Fue?!……ah…..!?!?! ]

As the slimy object entered the black cloak that the magician had given me, even though I had clothes on underneath it started to cling to all the parts of my body except my face. It started to crawl all over my body like a work and suck on my skin.

[!?!? Ahh!]

Without thinking I squatted down and started to scream.

The magician completely ignored me and moved to a different shelf and started rummaging around.

Oh, I don’t care anymore just hurry up and sacrifice me already!!

As I started to want to cry I started to say this, but all the came out of my mouth was the screams from having my skin rubbed and sucked on.

 

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CH 3 – “Slime” – The Deadbeat Master and Genius Disciple’s Misunderstood Workshop

(TL Note: Besides the name Shalltear I feel like the author is once again referencing Overlord with this chapter.)


In order to hide the dirty child with truly impressive green eyes, I had no choice, even though I was completely against it, but to share the black robe I was wearing. As I was enduring the cold, that felt like it had dropped to near zero now, I made my way to the street where my workshop is located.

Yeah, today is really cold.

I can’t believe people are actually enjoying a festival on a night like this, they must be off their rocker.

….It’s not like I’m saying this because I’m upset that I can’t join them.

On the street where my workshop is, there is probably another name that has been decided administratively. My street is also known as “Fool’s Street”, this name which can only been seen as harassment is what my street is called. Basically, it’s a place that is disorderly like some seedy downtown back alley.

Well, instead of disorderly I think chaotic would be a better fit.

There are normal homes and there is a long bar randomly placed along the street, there is an old woman who sells vegetables from her kitchen garden, and there is a store calling itself a weapon shop that only sells kitchen knives and nails. There is also an alchemist, who won’t move or take orders unless he’s out of money. Even though the rent being cheap is good, there are many people who would go out of business in other locations, that flock to this place

Even there is no need to say it, the last person was me.

Even though we all there it’s not like we are very close, besides the old lady gardener, everyone thinks they are better than everyone else.

Even the circular neighborhood notice, that is supposed to go around to everyone, has stopped at someone’s shop and hasn’t been seen for a couple of months. But, even the simple action of checking who has it is something no one here has the intention of doing.

And here I am relieved that I made my way back to this street.

As to why, well the people who live here won’t bat an eye at the small black figure walking next to me, this is without a doubt.

Actually, on the way here there were some drunk idiots who were dancing, as if a part of some evil summoning ritual. And those idiots didn’t pay me a single mind.

Instead, the black figure next to me was surprised and began to shake. Well, this child will get used to this street soon enough…

—-Finally, we reached the entrance of my workshop, after opening the door and looking inside, I slammed it shut after 5 seconds.

Ugh, Damn it. I forgot to clean up.

Skulls. Skulls. Skulls.

There were skulls strewn throughout the room, there were even skulls floating in my alchemy pot. Even I was disturbed by the scene inside.

A large pot, big enough to boil a dead body, just like what’s in a ritual area used by a necromancer performing some questionable magical ritual.

Before I left, I was hyping myself up way too much earlier.

Well, I should say that if I didn’t hype myself up earlier, I wouldn’t have been able to go to such a dangerous place like the slums at night.

And because of that, the very thought of cleaning up disappeared from my mind.

…Also I should add this just to be sure, the skulls are not real. By placing animal bones and stones in the alchemy pot and melting them, I performed a basic technique called image projection to create the skulls. These are not human bones.

Well now, what should I do.

Is it OK to go inside just like this?

After worrying for several seconds in front of the door, the cold began to seep into my flesh and bones and even thinking became troublesome. Whatever happens, happens.

If it’s this much, then I’ll just have the kid come in and the kid will understand after I explain, probably.

If I stay outside I don’t even want to open my mouth. God, it’s cold.

As the door opened with loud creak, I invited the dark figure inside. I then hurriedly made my way to the alchemy pot and poured some magic power in, I will use this instead of a fireplace to warm up the place.

As I finished this, I once again turned to the door and saw the child had slightly stuck their head out of the dark robe, the face there was emotionless as usual.

[…….] Granite

The child silently stared at me, then the skulls around the room, and then the alchemy pot producing heat. Soon enough, the child started to slowly make their way toward where I was standing.

Oh? This kid isn’t as freaked out as I thought they would be.

As to be expected from a child from the slums, they are mentally tough.

I guess I can skip my explanation, huh?

I immediately began to explain my plans to the child walking toward me.

[You will be taught alchemy by —-. …Ugh…this smell and filth…this is bad…] Granite

As I opened my mouth, my senses were attacked by the horrible filth and stench coming from this child that had permeated the room. I made a face without thinking.

Then I suddenly remembered, I looked down at my own hands which had touched the child’s hands earlier and they were black with dirt.

….It will be better if I wash my hands first.

After this I will need to feed this kid something.

If I take a good look, this kid is nothing but skin and bones. Well that is to be expected.

As I thought of this, I looked at the child who was looking up at me without batting an eye, I once again called out to the child that was being obedient although a bit creepy.

[First, let’s wash your body. Wait a bit.] Granite

Here in this alchemist workshop that is my home, when you need to clean something really dirty I have something special just for such an occasion.

—- That’s right. With a gelatinous body, a living organism that can adapt to any environment. Long story short, I’m talking about a slime.

Especially when you are dirty, using a slime is considered normal among alchemists.

No amount of soap will fully clean this child, and if you properly train a slime they will listen to a human’s commands.

So, after I came to this natural conclusion, I turned my back to the child who had slightly nodded and as I made my way to the slime jar; I decided to seriously go over the techniques dealing with slimes…

The relationship between slimes and alchemy is quite old.

Well actually slimes having such a weird nature is why alchemy gave birth to techniques that can change the appearance of objects. I don’t think this is me just exaggerating.

Slimes are a species that start from eating plants and animals and then go to ores and any inorganic substance, they truly can ingest anything. Slimes then take the plants they’ve ingested and following their own biological rules, physically and magically change to adapt to their environment, this power is what makes up their special characteristics

The first alchemist, using the slimes special characteristics, instead of using an alchemy pot used “slimes who had just split off from another slime” and by feeding them medical herbs created healing potions. This was where it all began.

When I was still in training, I really don’t remember ever seriously training though, I was immediately taught how to handle slimes.

It’s just the same as blacksmiths learning how to control a fire and magicians learning how to use catalysts.

Well, leaving the actual synthesizing to the slimes you know, seemed to match my nature. And honestly instead of doing synthesizing in an alchemy pot, it was better having the slimes do it.

Well with a low-level alchemist such as myself there is scant difference between a slime and myself, but this is something I will never say out loud.

Now of course even I have slime as a partner and its name is Pochi.

(TL Note: This is an average name for dogs in Japan kind of like rex or fido.)

Regarding the name, well let’s just say I wasn’t the one who named it and I’ll omit the rest.

As I arrived at the slime jar I put my hand out to squirming Pochi, and as my hands were cleaned Pochi crawled up my arm.

Pochi must have been happy I was paying attention to it, Pochi was jiggling and looked really cute.

Ah, let me just say this, it’s not like I have some special liking for this, for alchemists this is a natural feeling.

Then as Pochi was crawling up my arm, I made my way back to the dirty child and said this.

[Now, please use this. When you become clean you will feel good.] Granite

[……..Huh?] Shar

 

This child’s green eyes that up until now had been emotionless opened wide, and this is the first time the child spoke with a cracking voice.

[What, you can speak? There is no need to hold back. After having Pochi eat the dirt off you, the refreshed feeling you will experience is something you can’t get anywhere else. Come now.] Granite

As I said this, I pushed Pochi toward the child.

[Fue?!……ah…..!?!?! ] Shar

Pochi happily jumped to the feast in front of it (the dirty child’s body), then Pochi spread itself inside of the black rob that the child was still wearing.

Uh huh, I will be at ease, Pochi will have a good meal, and this slum child will be thoroughly cleaned.

This is what you would call a win-win, right?

As I thought this, I nodded to myself satisfied.

§

[N,No! Master, please don’t remember any more than that!! That was very, very embarrassing!!] Shar

 

With her hands clasped at her chest, Shar is appealing to me with a bright red face. And I being childish and wanting to get back at her, started to speak while laughing to myself.

[Why is there a need to act so embarrassed. Shalltear, when it comes to washing your body besides using soap using a slime is not weird in the slightest. At that time, all I did was try to clean the horrible filth that was on your body using the common sense that is known to alchemists. Shar, even now, don’t you have a slime named “Lucolu” that you go into the bath together, right?] Granite (TL Note: The name is from a hair salon chain in Japan.)

[Um, well. I’m sorry if it looks like I’m protesting, but! Now and back then are two different stories! It is true that now I don’t feel embarrassed or anything and I am used to it… but back then, you know, because I was surprised by everything! …N,Now that I think back to that time, that slime was master’s slime so…..] Shar

[Hahaha, I see I see. Your master was teasing you a bit. Let’s move on with our reminiscing.] Granite

[U, Uhn! Master, I understand. I won’t h,hate you but I am very mad!] Shar

I started to chuckle again as shar said this while pouting.


(From the Author) The fact that the whole setting of the slime was made only for the female alchemist, Shar, is a secret. (LoL, but seriously if Shar became dark then the whole story would become dark so there was no other way!!! The author is not at fault!).


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CH 2 – “An Encounter on a Winter’s Night ” – The Deadbeat Master and Genius Disciple’s Misunderstood Workshop

(Translator’s Note: This author and his weird way of writing will be the death of me.)


It happened 5 years ago, just as the first cold streak hit one winter’s night.

[Damn, the concept of work should just disappear from this world. Ah~~~ I don’t want to work~~~. Generally speaking, why is that you can’t get money if you don’t work. Isn’t that strange? There is something wrong with the world. A revolution is necessary. I won’t do it, but can someone do it for me, please?] Granite

This is how I spent my days grumbling away, at this time I was 27 years old and still an active alchemist. Here I am on the very outskirts of the capital, in a place commonly known as the slum district. I am creeping along like some sort of burglar.

–No, even if I say I look like a burglar from someone else’s perspective I probably look like some sort of “evil magician”, “black market dealer”, or “an alchemist that has used the taboo arts”.

A black cloak and hood completely covered my body, and in one hand I held an alchemy staff that was decorated with a skull…is what I wanted the rod I had to look like. Well the additions to that staff were difficult…. I remember it took almost three days.

As I was heading to a place that is far away from the main district of the capital, consequently the number of street lights gradually deceased. Even the stars were hidden behind thick clouds in the sky and the moon itself was hidden.
Now large snowflakes that showed no sign of sticking began to fall, a cold wind passed through the narrow street causing me to shake uncontrollably.
The only sound that could be heard, beside the wind, was the creaking of the gradually dirty worn-down roofs of the surrounding buildings. Even before I reached the slum district, where the lowest in the caste system lives in an area that has had development stopped, a depressing atmosphere surrounded the area.

As my surroundings gave off the feeling as if monsters had invaded, at that time I, who already couldn’t freely move due to the cold, found my body began to stiffen.

Alchemy Staff.
A handy self-protection tool used by alchemists, it can release the energy of a single action that has been put inside of it beforehand.
The output can be greatly affected but the creator’s skill and finances used. It is superior against magician in terms of invocation speed and is superior to melee fighters in terms of reach. I should have saved after abstaining from drinking for a month. It’s better to make a proper staff then just having some knockoff by my side, as I do now.

Without thinking I admitted to my own laziness in an instance, even such a simple action was out of the norm for me. This is the second time tonight this has happened, and I haven’t even reached the slum district yet.

[Still,…maybe I should come back another day… It’s cold…and creepy… It might be smart for me to strategically retreat from here…Right? No, I can’t. Knowing me, if I leave now I’ll never come back to a place like this. I must find a someone here who no one will miss, a person that will be my meal ticket… The deadbeat comfortable lifestyle of my dreams is within my grasp…!] Granite

Of course, after 5 years have passed and with everything that has happened until now, looking back my “good plan” seems more of a “shit plan”; yet my past self still clung to that plan. As I hurriedly moved forward into the dark streets I looked like a creepy army alchemist who mass produces homunculus.

(TL Note: Shou Tucker from full metal alchemist, creepy as hell. Never forget Nina and her big dog…)

—Also, I have to finish this tonight.

My past self muttered this.

Tonight, the guards in charge of patrolling the capitol will be stationed at more important areas this evening.
Tonight, is the festival celebrating the princess turning 10 years old. The fact that her body is weak is widely known through the town. Among the merchants that I often deal with as an alchemist, those parasite pieces of garbage secretly bet every year whether the princess will celebrate “another” birthday or not, what a tragic princess.

Every year on the princess’s birthday, the royal family takes a large amount of finances from the treasury and celebrates in a grandiose manner.

Of course, for the peasants, it doesn’t matter if the princess is awake or in a coma.
The populace of the capitol is doing nothing but enjoying the grand festival and drinking all night long.
So, the guards who defend the peace of the capitol will be patrolling the important areas of the capitol that are more likely to have incidents occur.

….In addition to that, the people who live in the slum district don’t even have the money to enjoy the festival, so all of this has nothing to do with them.
By the way, even though I might be a bit better off, even if it tried to play it cool and say, “I don’t carry spending money” is my motto; I’m still living day by day. I am in no place to talk about other people…

As I stared at my current surroundings with a sense of fear, I stiffened my body against the cold and such sad thoughts ran through my head as I continued forward.

—Then I finally set foot in the slum district.

If I were to sum up the slum district in a couple of words, it would be a garbage dump.
Compared to the previous district I was in when I was worrying about my safety, at least people still lived there so it was a much more luxurious place compared to the slums. This is what I thought.

As a rotten smell rose to my nose, I noticed the remains of excrement around the area.
Despite this there wasn’t any garbage to be found on the twisting roads that make up the slum district, and not even a single blade of grass could be found growing on the street. As I took one more look around, if you could ignore the stench and the contents of the gutters you would think this was a properly maintained area

I could sparsely see abandoned buildings even in this darkness. There were structures made of only pillars and walls that couldn’t be called abandoned buildings littered around area, like gravestones.
I’m sure the inside of these structures did not have what would normally be considered a room.
Because of this a crying voice carried by the wind could be heard, a voice that was filled with resentment and sadness.

—As the cowardly I arrived at this place, I finally realized just how foolish my thoughts had been and feelings of guilt washed over me. Also, I started to feel afraid as if I had stepped into some magical territory full of monsters.

Even though I am a plain mediocre alchemist, no matter what I am still an alchemist.

That means in short, based on the world’s hierarchy I fall into the lower stratum of the intellectual class.
Then as far as I know the country I was born in has a affluential good government compared to our surrounding countries.

There is war. And my country does fight often.
Our country’s army is powerful, and we rarely lose any conflicts.
Even though there is some government propaganda, I am aware of it. That’s why I didn’t think that there would be such a dark side to the country here in the very center of the country, the capital, and not somewhere in a faraway town.

The reason for my mediocrity is not just my personality, but my lack of imagination can also be noted as being at fault.

I just particularly don’t want to work. I don’t feel bothered thinking this way. And I think that’s that.
But even with that, I am not sure what I am trying to do now will pay out in the long run. This is what I started to think.

Setting several steps into the slum district, after uncharacteristically seriously thinking; I regrettably arrived at a conclusion.
This is a bad habit of mine. I am normally very selfish but when it comes down to the wire, I am a coward.
Ahh, I should have had a stiff drink before coming here, this is so lame.

[…I should head home.] Granite

I nodded to myself starting to head in the opposite way and go back home to my stuffy workshop.

—Then, I had a stroke of luck, is what I could say.

As I was about to abandon my nice idea and head home, I heard a small voice that was like a gospel to my ears.

It was a person, and most likely a child.

And a coughing sound could be heard.

It was close, down this alleyway that is 70 cenmeterus (centimeters) wide.

After hearing that sound, I quickly had a change of heart, and the conclusion I came to earlier was forgotten as I calmed down.

[Are you serious..? Is this the heavens telling me to go through with my nice idea? Well let’s not worry about logic and the small details. Yeah. Those are the worries of important nobles who are involved with the politics of this country. Haha, just a little more until my deadbeat dream lifestyle is within reach.]

As I was smiling while in high spirits, I hurriedly made my way through the streets….then I came to my senses.

Wait?… Kids for the slums are known for being greedy…. I’m not going to get beaten up and stripped of all my belongings, will I?
That is troubling. A refined alchemist such as my self is not suited for such violence.

Well in case of such an event I went to the trouble of preparing my bluff of an alchemy staff and black robe.

I massaged my hands that had gone numb from the cold before I entered the alley. Last night I had practiced how to make a scary face and I grumbled to myself as I read a magic tome of curses; I thought of some intimidating phrases and repeated them in my head.

Then after a while after I decided I was fully prepared, I made my way to the direction where the voice had come from, all while shaking on the inside.

Now will an ogre or a basilisk come out. Even though I was over-exaggerating as I thought this, I continued forward.

(TL Note: This is Japanese saying that originally goes, will a demon or a snake come out? It means you never know what will happen.)

After sluggishly going about 10+ meterus (meters) I found a young child shaking wearing in worn-out clothes that made a prisoner’s uniform look good and had wrapped themselves in a blanket that was as dirty as a cleaning rag.

Just then at that moment, the thick clouds had cleared, and the pair of white and blue moons showed up directly above the alleyway.

In that cold moonlight, as if from a scene in a play the alleyway was brightly lit up.
The child there heard my footsteps and raised their dirt covered face. There all I saw was a pair of desolate green eyes staring at me.

——Before I could even think how sad this child was, I shook in fear.

Those eyes were as deep as a bottomless pit.
Overcoming all of the fake bravado and bluffs I had prepared, there that child was truly disturbing.
A demon or evil ghost would surely retreat in front of this child.
I thought such idiotic ideas where nothing but an undeniable truth at that time.

I was so scared that I didn’t know what I was afraid of and as I was absorbed in these feelings the lines I had practiced in my head flowed from my mouth.

[—— To you, o’ young child that has been completely abandoned by this world. To you, o’ lost child who no one ones how many more nights more you will see. Take my hand. Offer me your body and become of use to me. —— If you do this, I shall offer you modest salvation.] Granite

And unexpectedly, I repeated the lines I took from an old demon contract. While illuminated in moonlight, I stretched out my hand while the child slightly widened their eyes.

The child showed no other emotions and just stared at me with a blank expression.
The child in front of my eyes slowly stood up and took my hand.

The child’s hand was cold due to the temperature outside.
But that hand that was still warmer then the outside temperature, belonged to just a child and not some sort of demon. As my past self finally acknowledged the person in front of me as just a child, I was relieved.

*

This was the moment that I, Granite Range, and the girl who still had no name, Shalltear Range, met.

—— It was at this time that while feeling relieved I, who is usually careless, forgot something important.

What expression did I have when I first confronted her?
On top of that, what lines did I use to persuade her?
Then finally, How did I look in her eyes at that moment?

—— Because of this, even though Shar never showed this in her expressions, I made her come to a great resolution.

 

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CH 1 – “Mornin’” – The Deadbeat Master and Genius Disciple’s Misunderstood Workshop

Translator’s note: The author is incapable of writing a normal sentence everything has to be explained with the detail of Shakespeare on LCD laced Cocaine.


When a fish that is lazily swimming in the ocean depths suddenly meets a sea monster. I wonder what is the fish thinking.

When a squirrel bewitched by the smell of the tree’s fruit climb’s down and while stuffing its cheeks sees the gleaming eyes of a predator hiding in a dark bush. I wonder what is the squirrel thinking.

I, known as Granite Range, declare that I can clearly imagine the mental state of those cute, weak animals.

Among the thousands of case files between Shar and I, after the incident an elixir that came from a reckless remark, the studio where Shar and I lived transformed from a single house into became a mansion….why did this happen?

It’s noon at a certain mansion that was recently remodeled.

Going from a worn-out futon that I spread out on a wooden board, I now sleep in heavenly comfort in an expensive bed made from the feathers of a bird of paradise.
In addition, as I was sleeping in comfortably past noon I felt the presence of that and my body started to shake.

As I quickly regained conscience I tried to search the room with my amateur senses.

…………….

There is someone here. Even an amateur like me can feel their stare.
Even though I know if I open my eyes that person will be there, they have erased any presence and are watching me completely silent.

A nihilistic smile welled in my heart.

This person has yet again improved their skills….Hmph as to be expected of my disci…….

………Like hell!!!

I did say to leave me be when I sleep, but I didn’t mean this!
This is just plain scary! God dammit!

Having the problem child reminding me of her excellence first thing in the morning, I warily opened my eyes slowly.
Then just as I thought, I made eye contact with Shar who was loitering near my pillow and staring at me with her green eyes.

 

[……]

[!……]

 

As I opened my eyes, she had a cheerful smile covering her whole face.
But, she was mumbling like a new born chick waiting for me to greet her.

……Yeah. I know. I understand.
I know Shar is not trying to scare me or anything like that.

She is just waiting for “her great master that she loves so much” to say good morning to her, right?

Of course, I understand what she’s thinking.
But, can’t she stop standing at my bedside like that! It just freaks me out.

As I thought of this, my favorite book (Maintaining dignity: so easy even a goblin can do it! {First Edition}) states, (Even if you take an arrow to your knee, you can’t let any feelings of surprise shown your face! In your goblin life it will lead you to a better tomorrow.)
That is why I must respond as usual.

 

[….Good Morning. Today Shar is ….. as usual Shar.]

[Good Morning! Master!]

 

Shar energetically says good morning, as her small frame is over flowing with affection towards me.

In this small dimly lighted room, the spot where that girl stands is bathed in a heavenly light
While being immature the girl with bright orange hair that tells you she will be a beauty when she gets older, shows her happiness for being able to exchange her first words with her “Great” master this morning (afternoon) as well.

That girl, who if introduced to 100 different people would be called charming by all of them, stares at me, I immediately began to feel tired as I restricted my facial muscles. I made the face of the “Respected Master” that I’m so used to now.

 

§

 

After putting on a simple outfit, I came down to the wide dining room, the lunch I am to eat with Shar was already prepared.

As I sat in my chair with nothing special on my mind, Shar told the two servants standing in the corner of the room to leave (For some reason we only have men working here?). She started to hum to her herself as she began to prepare tea and snacks, I wonder what she is so happy about?

As Shar once again sat next to me, I stared at her nonchalantly, then she looked at me while tilting her head.

[Master, Did you make any progress on what you were speculating last night? What shall we do today? …..Ah, yes. It may be a bit early, but what would you like for dinner? Actually, today a large merchant caravan came. When I went to the castle this morning, the square in front of the castle was very lively, it seems the caravan has many special products in stock. I wish to feed Master something so delicious that it will send all of the exhaustion you feel day after day flying!]

(…..??)

Besides maintaining my outer appearance, after eating my fill I was daydreaming. So, I was sadly unable to keep up with the questions and large amount of information that was thrown at me.

Uh?
A speculated merchant caravan with special products and a lot of activity sent the castle flying….? ….What the hell? I must be wrong.

Here I should just be honest and say,

(Sorry, I have no idea what you’re saying… To begin with my brain is not that good, so after eating it becomes even less so….)

If I say something like that, of course my dignity as her Master will drop like a bag of bricks.
As I thought of this, my brain started to finally catch up. So, I started to randomly utter some general words.

[Shalltear, calm yourself. It is said that time flows equally for all things, but in reality, this is not true. Whether it is a bug or a dragon they have their own time, even humans have their own time. Even among individuals the same can be said. We all have our own time we live in. That is why Shalltear…. …That is to say…your master…that’s right, I will need a bit more time and information to answer your question. (Special translation: Please slowly repeat yourself once again.)]

Ugh, I am definitely not thinking straight…
“In Short”? Even though I was the one talking, I have no idea what I said.

…….That’s right, after (That is why Shalltear) if I said (Don’t be impatient) wouldn’t what I wanted to say get through?

As I was worrying on how she would retort to what I said, I sat there with my heart beating quickly but nothing showing on my face. Shar showed an expression as if she had come to some sort of understanding, and then started some incomprehensible conversation.

 

[…One’s own time… I understand. That is just like the alchemic technique (Arbitrary Observation Method)! As a practitioner must arbitrarily observe the unstable changes of the reagents they put into the alchemy pot, to better adjust the final quality of the various broken down smelted reagents. It is an important technique… As individual living beings (experience time differently)…, we, as alchemists, must purposefully observe the (infinite number of alchemic techniques)… Yes, they are indeed similar!]

 

….Crap, What did she just say?
She at least seems to be my disciple, Shalltear.
I, who only ever did simple alchemy, have no knowledge of such a technique.

As I thought if this, I continued to maintain the face of the austere master while the corners of my lips slightly curled into smile.

 

[Y,Yes. You are right. That is what I wanted to say. Shalltear, it seems you have become quite clever. You make your master proud.]

 

For the time being let’s praise Shalltear.
…..Hm? However, that laugh right now seemed to be right on the money. I will practice later in front of a mirror, so I can recreate it.

 

[Hehe, Thank you so much! ….Th,Then. Um, what shall we do….? What would you like to eat for dinner?]

 

Shar asked with upturn eyes as she innocently blushed.

Oh, she was talking about dinner. That’s why she mentioned the merchant caravan. Thank god, so the castle wasn’t blown up.
As I think back she was definitely talking about something along those lines. I properly understood the conversation, good.

Since I was so relieved, I patted Shar’s head something I rarely do. As I was rubbing her head I responded to her question.

 

[Right… Once in a while, I would like to have that, “Braised Moa Pigeon (Wild Pigeon) Stew”. Since it isn’t a special or rare product, even though the merchant caravan has come, there is nothing we would need. I am always calmed by that flavor.]

 

Yes, that dry cheap chicken meat. Sometimes, you just want to eat something cheap.
I, being a peasant at heart, after eating nothing but expensive meals can’t seem to relax, you know.
In the past, I would often cook it in some alchemy glassware lying around and eat it.

I as I thought of this and strong feelings began to well up, Shar’s head, which was still underneath my hand, began to shake. When I started to wonder what was wrong, I saw tears welling up in the corner of her eyes.

Huh? What? She’s been crying a lot lately. Maybe a dish that doesn’t need anything from the merchant caravan was a bad choice?
As I thought this and was worried, it seems my guess was wrong.

 

[That is so….nostalgic, hehe. It reminds of the day you took me in… It is the first thing Master ever gave me…. I remember it even now. That was truly, truly…delicious. tehee.]

 

…..
Oh. Really? I fed Shalltear Braised Moa Pigeon Stew 5 years ago when I took her in, huh.

I, myself, cannot remember a single thing, but seeing Shar being brought to tears by this. What is this? These feelings of guilt.

This is bad. If I don’t deal with these feelings quickly. I, who has a heart like a small pigeon, will get washed up in this guilt.

As I thought of this, I proposed something to Shar.

 

[That’s right. This is a good opportunity. There is no need to rush and buy Moa pigeon meat since it is always available at the market. Shar, how about reminiscing with me today. What, sometimes it’s important to look back on the past. I am sure it won’t be a waste of time.]

 

Then, please help me remember what happened then so I can find some peace of mind.
[Master… Hic. You’re…right. I understand. I am happy to have the time to slowly talk about the past with Master….*sniff*.]

 

A soft smile appeared on Shar’s face as she rubbed her head against my hand, that was still petting her as if she is fawning upon me.

 

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The Deadbeat Master and Genius Disciple’s Misunderstood Workshop-Prologue

Prologue: An elixir that came from a reckless remark

Translator’s Note: One of the main characters is called シャルティア (Shalltear). Anyone who is a fan of Overlord will immediately recognize this name.  I wanted to see if I could spell it differently, but sadly this is the only spelling that makes sense. Also the author shortens シャルティア(Shalltear) to シャル,so I’ve decided to translate this to [Shar]; since shorting it to [Shall] will make translating harder later on. So this isn’t me just pushing Overlord onto this novel, the author himself chose this name. Anyway, enjoy!


 

My name is Granite Range

 

I’m a nice guy that turns 30 this year, and I am working as what one would call an alchemist.

No, I was working would be more accurate.

 

 

As to why, well currently I am living the lifestyle that I once could never stop wishing to be, a deadbeat.

 

 

What? Why am I prefacing my introduction with “Once”?

If I am to be frank and explain the reasons behind this.

 

 

That reason would be that the person I am currently raising has greatly overestimated the guy who doesn’t have much talent, namely me.

 

 

Yes, that person who has amazing skills even beyond anyone’s expectations has mistaken me for a “Great Master”.

 

 

[Master, I have just returned! …. What? Why are you in such deep thought? Oh, you’ve probably thought up of a recipe for a new medicine! Please teach me too!] Shalltear

 

 

A luxurious chair made from the down feathers of a young dragon, something I could never had dreamed of buying before.

As I sit and sink into the chair, I rub my temples and sigh internally. The door swings open with a bang, and an energetic voice came flooding in.

I was shocked, and I felt my body begin to shake.

Damn, I thought that person wouldn’t be back for a while, so I let my guard down. Shit, Now I’m thinking of a “recipe for a new medicine” ……like hell!

Calm Down, Calm Down

 

 

I am the master of Shalltear Range, an alchemist who works for the Royal F, who is only 13 years old.

I have no idea why I’m going through this, but if I say that…

I raise my head while completely suppressing my impatience that took me by surprise.

Then I met the gaze of a young girl who was staring at me after lightly ran up to where I was with a face red with excitement.

And there was I, who wanted to say, Who the hell are you? To the person majestically reflected in her green eyes.

 

 

[*Cough* Shar, that was fast. How is the condition of His Highness?] Granite

 

 

First, let me just stall for time….

Then in the meantime, I have to “bullshit” some materials and ingredient names for the “recipe” or whatever.

Remembering names was not going well, especially for me who doesn’t have that good of a memory.

But, even so.

Who would have thought the day would come where a poor town alchemist such as myself would utter the words “How is the condition of His Highness?”. You really don’t know what life has in store for you…..

 

 

[Ah, that’s right…. Actually, I wanted to ask master about something concerning that.] Shalltear

 

 

…. Huh??

 

 

W,W,What the hell !?!?!??

As busy as I am, don’t increase my problems!! Don’t bring me some disease that you and His Highness are worried about.!!

Shalltear is shaking while playing with her bright orange hair as if she is incredibly troubled and furrowing her brow.

Of course, she isn’t showing any of this in her face.

 

 

[Shar, that’s not good. Not good at all. You are now a full fledge Alchemist. You cannot rely on your master forever. You must solve this on your own. By doing so, you will reach even greater mysteries of Alchemy!] Granite

 

 

As I wondered what the hell are the greater mysteries of Alchemy, I was able to run away from advising someone by saying some random words.

Just then Shalltear quickly raised her head, and some tears gathered at the corners of her eyes.

…. Huh?

 

 

[Hic. I am sorry, Master…… Once again, I’ve relied on you…. 5 years ago, you saved me when I was starving to death in the slums…. Hic. Then Master gave me the name Shalltear Range, and even became my family…. Without me realizing, I have been spoiled by Master…. Hic. Being an incompetent disciple…! I am truly sorry….!] Shalltear

 

 

……Uh, I feel horrible.

Suddenly, this is too heavy…. Way too heavy!!

After hearing her words, I thought [Why did I help her?] as I reflected on that sequence of events.

So, It’s not like I saved her because I have heart overflowing with mercy, or that I sympathized with her since she was starving to death, I did it for myself.

Through and through It was only so I could live comfortably.

To be accurate, “I randomly kidnapped…., No, I scouted a kid with no problems, so I could teach them alchemy and have them support me for the rest of my life” is the reason I saved Shalltear.

To be honest, anyone would have been fine.

It just happened that the first one I laid eyes on was that little girl (at the time I couldn’t even tell the gender).

Furthermore, even the name Shalltear, when I applied at the town hall saying she was a distant relative was just for convenience sake. I didn’t have a single inkling of wanting to become her family or calming her down.

I am such a bastard that you can help but be repulsed, but that is how much I didn’t want to work.

As to why, at that time I constantly muttered “I don’t want to work. Why is that that in this world you have to work to get money? Who the hell thought up this system….? I wanted to be born as a royalty or noble who didn’t have to work and could live a life filled with debauchery.”.

Well but then who would have thought the girl I scouted from the slums would be such a find, and she would be the beginning of me living a live well beyond the means of a small-town alchemist such as myself, it is as if heaven and earth were turned on it’s head.

As I thought back on this, I had to do something about Shalltear who went from sniffling to bawling. Since I am the type of person that speaks before he thinks, I once again started spewing random words.

 

 

[Shar…, Don’t cry. You are still an amateur, BUT!! You are the sole disciple of I, Granite Range, and my one and only daughter! I, who is your master and father, shall always be by your side….  Don’t ever forget that even for a second….] Granite

 

 

I don’t know what the ”BUT” part was about, my mouth just came up with a nice way to complete this conversation. How should I put it, when it comes to Alchemy skill, Shar is already dozens of levels above me and if anyone it is I who is the amateur.

Then Shar, while wiping away her tears, listened to every word I said, even though I thought what I said didn’t hold much value. As I finished talking, Shar’s small body began to shake, then right after that she tackled me, who had been sitting so gaudily in my chair from the beginning, with tremendous force.

Ugh! I,I’m gonna die…!

Even her physical abilities, thanks to her magical circulation. Shar is pretty dangerous.

Even as a I thought that several of my ribs had broken (they hadn’t), I kept a calm face as to maintain the dignity of being a “Master”.

 

 

[Mu,Muwasteer!! Hic. I, I… I… I am truly happy that I became MMaster’s disciple… I am so happy… For MMaster’s sake I will do anything. I will do anything… … Right…, The county that doesn’t accurately gauge Masters great abilities, First I will ….] Shalltear

!?!!??

 

As I was patting her on the back, suddenly in a small voice Shar started to whisper, Dark magical essence brought on by her dark emotions started to seep from her body.

Now what’s wrong!??!?

I don’t know what’s going on, but the country has accurately gauged my abilities.

As I think about it, it seems I can never remove the mask that is being the “Great Master”, I thought about what I would say next before opening my mouth, something that is rare for me.

 

 

[R,Right Shar. Let’s get back on topic, earlier you asked if I had an idea for a new recipe. Actually, it’s just as you said. Do you mind helping me get my ideas organized?] Granite

 

 

As I said that, Shar shook as if shocked, while still clinging to me looked up.

[Y,Yes! I,I don’t know if someone such as I can be of any help, but please ask!!] Shalltear

 

 

[Um, Well then. I was thinking of a new medicine where “Salmalia grass rhizome”, “Yugrena fire stone”, and “Grendola liver” is used. Do you understand what I mean by this?] Granite
By the way I don’t understand.

Well, I just lined up whatever I thought of, you know.

 

 

[“Salmalia grass rhizome”, “Yugrena fire stone”, and “Grendola liver” … correct? That is a very weird combination…] Shalltear
As Shar slightly increased the strength she is holding me with, I flinch at what she said.

What, Is it no good? Is this one of those “you should never mix” combinations? I could feel cold sweat running down my back.
[“Salmalia grass rhizome” is a plant ingredient that has a large amount of earth magical power, as an alchemic ingredient it is exalted for having growth properties, as well as having nutritional effects. “Yugrena fire stone” if I’m not mistaken has the effect of stopping miasma from building for a short period of time in regards to magical circulation, and if ingested the blood vessels will expand to their limits inviting death, a truly dangerous poison. Or so I believe. With that combination and then adding magic power, a new effect never before seen will be born…. …W,Wait! I got it!] Shalltear

R,Really?

Halfway through I had no Idea what she was saying, but I am so happy she got it. As she looked at me with her eyes opened in surprise, I felt relief looking at Shar as she stared up at me.

Well, I hit it big believing in the excellence of my disciple.
[It can’t be, Master knew of His Highness’s “illness” from the beginning……. were you there!?! Did you foresee that I would be at a loss of what medicine to use, so you went to the trouble of thinking one up!? ] Shalltear

 

 

[Wha! Uh, Yes Yes. You are correct. Heh, it seems I still have a ways to go….huh. Even though I push for you to be independent, I just wind up helping you so easily. It seems that the previous lecture I gave you should probably be given to me. Since I am a master that can’t let go of their disciple, you being a disciple that can’t let go of their master is only to be expected. I am sorry.] Granite

 

 

[No…! There is no way…! But I, am so happy…! Just how much Master is thinking about me, of course I thought I knew… To think it was more than what I thought. I’m just so happy…! I lov… Wait, no! Um, Of course as to be expected of my Master!] Shalltear
As Shar spoke with some dried tears remaining and a beaming smile and I breathed a sigh relief as I, once again, was able to overcome a dangerous trial.
Well…, I am spent….

Compared to this, the days where I halfheartedly made some potions scrapping by day to day might have been easier….

As I felt Shar’s child-like warmth, without realizing I began to have these thoughts as if pulling the cart before the horse

….By the way, The new medicine Shar discovered “elixir “completely cured the incurable disease that was plaguing His Highness. At that time there was no way for me to know that our house would soon be moved to a mansion that doesn’t fail in comparison to a High Nobel’s residence. And the lower middle class person that is I would have his heart troubled more and more.

 

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